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AWARE Competitive Intelligence Strategy, Training, Research Services for Competitive & Marketing Intelligence

AWARE: UK competitive intelligence consultants offering competitor analysis and research services, competitive intelligence training & workshops and CI and marketing strategy consultancy.

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Competitive & Marketing Intelligence Resources
Business Humour


Businesses (and people) over time develop habits and patterns of working. Sometimes these will lead to success, but often they can stop management from seeing reality - especially when the business environment changes.

A successful competitive intelligence programme will identify these business blindspots - both in the company itself, and in its competitors. Taking advantage of competitor blindspots is a major way that a company can beat its competitors, so it is crucial to understand one's own blindspots so as to protect oneself from possible attack.

One way to illustrate business problems is through humour. Humour allows businesses to take a step back and see a problem applied to a situation that appears different to their own. However on deeper examination, one can sometimes see similar behaviour in the organization - thus highlighting a possible blindspot.

Humour is just one technique for showing blindspots. Others include the use of drama workshops and story-telling, or war-gaming where the business environment is modelled and management try and take an external look at their and their competitor situations. This page gives examples of business humour that may seem amusing but have a grain of truth to them. (If you know of other similar items please contact us and if we like them, then we will add them - with an author credit if desired. We also plan to change stories on a regular basis - as we come across suitable items - so bookmark this page and revisit for further examples of business humour.)

Most of the following stories and office "theories" are anonymous. That does not mean that they lack validity - and in fact there are a number of lessons relevant to general business, marketing and competitive intelligence that can be learned from them.

Wise Owl

Contradictory Evidence

Two cab drivers met.

"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"

"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

Just because two pieces of evidence picked up during a competitor research (or any other research) exercise contradict each other does not mean that they are both untrue. They could both be true - you just don't have the full picture.

Wise Owl

Meetings

Are you lonely?

  • Do you work on your own?
  • Do you hate having to make decisions?
Then why not hold a meeting?
  • You can get to see other people.
  • You can sleep in peace.
  • You can delegate all your work to others.
  • Decisions will be made and you won't have to take the blame when they go wrong.
  • Arrange a meeting at lunch time and you won't even have to worry about what to eat!

Meetings - the way to make business seem easy!

Wise Owl

The Mushroom Theory of Management

Keep all employees in the dark and feed them sh*t!

Wise Owl

AWARE Competitive Intelligence - Showing business blindspots through humour

The KISS Theory of Management

It is always an idea to keep things simple - as expressed by the abbreviation KISS. I have heard a number of explanations for what KISS stands for. Take your pick ;-)

  • Keep It Simple and Sexy
  • Keep It Simple and Straight
  • Keep It Sweet and Simple
  • Keep It Simple Stupid
  • Keep It Simple for the Suckers.

(Of the five options, the last one is dangerous if used by a company to describe their sales process and view of customers. This is a typical business blindspot i.e. the customer is too stupid to assess what is really going on. The others are almost the reverse - in that they emphasise the importance of keeping things plain and simple, rather than hide behind complexity - another business blindspot!)

Wise Owl

Keys to better relationships

The Six Most Important Words: I admit that I was wrong.
The Five Most Important: You did a great job
The Four Most Important: What do you think?
The Three Most Important: Could you please?
The Two Most Important: Thank you.
The Most Important: We.
The Least Important: I

Wise Owl

Rules of Work

1) Never walk without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading to the staff restaurante or the coffee machine. Worse though is to walk with a newspaper. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they are heading to the bathroom. If you have to read a newspaper, read it at your desk holding a pair of scissors or a highlighter pen. That way people will think that you are working and looking for suitable articles to add to the company clipping service.

This rule about carrying documents is especially important when leaving work at the end of the day. Make sure that you are seen to carry loads of stuff home - giving the impression that you work much longer hours than you do.

Based on ideas from BBC Television's The Office. For further rules of work and office humour, bookmark this page and visit again soon.

Wise Owl

Quick Tip: Use multiple search engines

Quick Tip

When doing an Internet search don't just use one search engine. Look at using a selection - Google, Yahoo!, Bing, Ask and even a few others. The reason is that each search engine uses different rules for ranking the order of pages - what they see as the most relevant pages.

By restricting your searches to just one engine you're also limiting the results you find to that search engines view of what is important. Your view may differ - and by using a range of search engines you will not only potentially find more relevant sites but you are also given a choice of different ranking methods.

Bonus Tip

Don't just use the standard search form but instead use the advanced search facilities. These allow for much more complex searches that are more likely to result in you finding what you need quickly.

 

Books - Co-opertition

Recommended Book

Smart Services
Co-opetition : 1. a revolutionary mindset that redefines competition and cooperation; 2. the game theory strategy that's changing the game of business
Adam M Brandenburger & Barry J Nalebuff
Buy UK £ or US$

Read our review of this book

Michael Porter described this book as "the most important single contribution" in taking his original ideas on ways of achieving competitive advantage forward. The book is easy to read, inexpensive and contains numerous ideas to help reshape and challenge thought processes. The writers develop Porter's 5 forces model, and introduce a sixth force. They emphasise the strategic advantages of co-operation and look at game theory as a way of approaching business strategy.

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For more recommendations visit our book selection.

 

Public training

Competitive Intelligence Training

Do you need to
know more about
Competitive Intelligence?

We offer in-house Competitive Intelligence Training, customised to your requirements.
Find out about our training services today!


Public Training Workshops -
ProfitNet Training Course on Competitor/Competitive Intellgence

Tuesday 15 September / Wed 30 September
University of Brighton - Postgraduate Computer Suite, Watts Building.
Cost: £550 + VAT

A two-day workshop split into two halves (with practical work to be competed during the two-week gap) focusing on ways to use competitive intelligence to best effect within organisational strategy.

Learn how to discover valuable information about your competitors and use this to gain competitve advantage over them in today's changeable markets.

This is one of a series of workshops aimed at helping businesses combat the economic downturn and prepare them for future success under the auspices of the Collaborative Training Centre attached to the University of Brighton.

More information & online booking / Brochure (PDF)

 

Events

ProfitNet Workshop on
Competitor/Competitive Intellgence

(in conjunction with the University of Brighton's Collaborative Training Centre)

Tuesday 15 September / Wed 30 September
University of Brighton - Postgraduate Computer Suite, Watts Building.
Cost: £550 + VAT

A two-day workshop split into two halves (with practical work to be competed during the two-week gap) focusing on ways to use competitive intelligence to best effect within organisational strategy.

Learn how to discover valuable information about your competitors and use this to gain competitve advantage over them in today's changeable markets.

This is one of a series of workshops aimed at helping businesses combat the economic downturn and prepare them for future success.

More information & online booking / Brochure (PDF)


Institute of Competitive Intelligence
UK Course Schedule


ICI holds regular public training in Europe, the USA and elsewhere. The next UK based ICI courses will take place mid-2009 in central London.

If you register 40 days in advance, deduct 5% from total fees.

Book your place!

Further information on the Institute of Competitive Intelligence.

 

saw-us-at

Finding Competitive Intelligence using Online Sources

AWARE consultants are experts at discovering competitor information online and have developed a market-leading course on Finding Competitive Intelligence using Online Sources. This course has been given as an in-house course to numerous companies across industries (e.g. IT, publishing, telecoms, chemicals....) and countries, as well as publicly at SCIP annual and European conferences (e.g. the SCIP 2008 Annual Conference in San Diego, California), the London International Online Information Conferences and other similar events.

The workshop has received high praise for its unique approach to finding competitive intelligence on the Internet. The workshop - available as a half-day or full day in-house training course - teaches attendees how to find actionable competitive intelligence rather than just present a list of sources that quickly date. Like all AWARE's in-house training, the course can be customised to focus on industry or competitive area.

For more information on this workshop and how it can help you become a more effective Internet researcher check out our Competitive Intelligence Training and ask us about our courses on finding CI information.

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Our services in competitive intelligence research, competitor analysis and CI training will help you integrate and use competitive and marketing intelligence in your business, strategic and marketing planning processes. Whether you need research, advice or training, our mission is to support our clients so that they achieve their growth objectives.

For the best UK & European competitive intelligence and competitor analysis services, contact us today.

AWARE Phone numbers: 0845 430 9125 (International: +44 20 8954 9121). Fax: 0845 430 9126 (International: +44 20 8954 2102)

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Last page / site update: Thursday, June 11, 2009

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